How much value do you actually hold in your possessions?

I often find myself looking at the things I've bought and thinking about how hard I worked for them, and I wonder if it was actually worth it.

This past 8 months, every day I've written down how much I've spent each day, and calculated it at the end of every week and month. Tracking your spending this closely really puts into perspective the amount that you actually spend/waste and means you can't just think about something else whilst the cashier tells you the total cost, and hold your contactless card out at arm's length to cover up the little card machine screen...(definitely not speaking from experience...).

This sense of perspective, regarding how much you know is coming into your account and how much has wriggled its way out by the end of the month, puts your mind into a much more money conscious state, and makes you think twice about every lipstick you buy. And whilst I agree it isn't healthy to be constantly worrying about money, there are things that you can do to avoid this unnecessary spending and collecting:
- start a capsule wardrobe 
- simplify your skincare and makeup bag - you only have one face
- switch to audio books or ebooks
- rent films instead of buying them or going to the cinema
- meal plan to avoid wasting food
- invest in quality items that don't need replacing as quickly

This being said, if you are a natural hoarder, you might want to allow yourself one outlet - for me, it's books. I know that by summertime I'll have to ship them all back to England, but it's my one little collection that helps me feel at home here.

Now, with all of the extra cash you've saved from not buying that new Charlotte Tilbury lip shade, or that Topshop dress, you might have enough for that trip you've been wanting to go on, or that new restaurant you've been wanting to try; because I guarantee that the experience of either of these things will be much more rewarding and memorable than going back to work again tomorrow wearing your new expensive lipstick.

Mind over materials

Why you can't find a morning routine that you enjoy...+ the solution.

For years I've known I've not been a morning person, and so for years, I've been trying to find a morning routine to break myself out of this trait.

Over the past few months especially, I've trawled through every Pinterest post, listened to and read up on the miracle morning routine, started reading new books, tried learning calligraphy, woken up at ridiculous hours, drunk scary amounts of coffee, and come to the following conclusion: people who aren't morning people cannot do anything worthwhile in the mornings.

I've been forcing myself to try all of these things and failed at every single one of them because I know my energy does not peak first thing in the morning; I know that I need a good couple of hours to come round to real life.

So, the great master solution? Find a time of day when doing these compact routines is useful to you. For me, that's just after work, either side of my evening meal. Because these routines don't necessarily give me energy or make me want to go out and do, they just give me a sense of settling and alignment. And so rather than having a flimsy morning routine and a flimsy evening routine, I combine the two to give me an hour or so of time that is just me time and keeps me grounded.

For those of you that care - my evening routine is as follows:
- Put on my comfy clothes and take off my makeup (nothing complicated, just a smush of Ultrabland from Lush taken off with a warm flannel)
- Brew a tea
- Write today's journal (a good assessment of sorts of the day)
- Take 5 minutes just to jot down any blog ideas from the day (just 5 minutes, no more)
- Something that challenges my perfectionism/creativity - at the minute this is a little typography style sketch

And that's it - nothing more, nothing less.

So what do we do with ourselves in the mornings?
You get some extra sleep, or do a bit of work - honestly, I find the morning the easiest time to write blog posts, hence why I'm writing this at 08:56 - my grammar isn't the greatest at this time of day, but my ideas come easier. Walk the dog, read or watch something that is going to set your day off to a good start - if you know you don't have a lot of energy in the morning, don't challenge yourself to do a huge list of things that include things like going to the gym, etc. Sticking to one thing keeps your to do list unbelievably manageable and leaves your more likely to actually accomplish the thing that you set out to do.

photo: Brighton, England

The solution to your failed morning routines

📌Malasaña, Madrid

Set in my favourite barrio in Madrid, this place does the best churros I've had in Spain (having sampled the typical favourites, such as Valor); the churros are light enough that you can devour the whole plate and not feel like you need a nap afterwards, and the staff there are always lovely.

the food & drink 
You can get your churros and porras, your chocolate accompaniment; they do a good selection of coffees and teas, and there's also a nice small selection of pastries, toast, and waffles if you're not in the mood for churros.

the atmosphere
This place is so small that you can count the number of tables on one hand. That being said, I've always been able to get a table there, as most people that come in just take advantage of the takeaway service. They're really pushing the real traditional food feel here with street light style lamps and black and white photos on the walls, but it does give it a cute feel. It's very clean, has a window into the kitchen area, and the staff are always friendly and smiley. 

price point
With churros and chocolate costing €2.95 and a coffee costing less than €2, you really can't complain.

overall rating 

address: Calle del Espíritu Santo, 8, 28004 Madrid
opening hours: 5:30-13:30, 17:00-20:30

Madrid for foodies: Churreria Madrid 1883

How to make bold moves and take risks as a perfectionist: 


I'll start this with one simple question: what would you do if you couldn't fail?

What would you do if tomorrow morning, you could forget about financial stability, success and failure, external opinion, internal opinion - what would you spend your day doing?

Would it be learning to play the piano? Completing an artistic masterpiece? Starting a blog? Writing a book? Learning a language? Aiming for that promotion? 

Now, this isn't rhetorical, I want you to have at least one really concrete thing in your mind.

I mean it....don't keep reading until you have something.

Got it?

You sure?

Now - what if I told you failure is something that only exists in your brain?

I could sit here, from my makeshift desk (aka my bed) and copy and paste a bunch of 'failure' quotes from Pinterest, but the point is, the only way to learn how insignificant failure is, is to put yourself in a situation in which you believe you are going to fail. 
Once you've done it, and maybe it wasn't exactly finished with a cherry on top, but you made it out of the end of the tunnel and you can look over your shoulder back at that tunnel and be proud of the journey you've taken. Because nobody else is going to put you down as much as you put yourself down. 

This whole post was inspired by Danielle Krysa's Your Inner Critic is a Big Jerk book, which I devoured in an afternoon the minute I finished listening to her podcast session with Tiffany Han. I implore you all to read it, it's pure brilliance and easily the most inspiring book I've read this year. So before I get on to using my own brain to create actual original content.. here are 3 points from Krysa's book that I loved:
1. Giving your inner critic a name separates it from yourself and allows you to depersonalise the criticism - Krysa talks about calling hers Arlo and tells him to zip it on days when he gets a bit carried away.
2. Sharing your 'failures' with other people gives you the ability to find the humour in them - saying it out loud stops it bubbling inside of you and becoming a much bigger deal than it actually is. Take a step back and let someone else take a look at it.
3. Criticism of your work is not criticism of you - if you do work in a field where you are open to criticism, have the confidence to step away from it and say actually that doesn't represent me and my life in anyway shape or form, and if X doesn't like it, that doesn't mean X doesn't like me.

I want to leave you with a few more ideas to consider:

- being scared of something doesn't mean you aren't capable of doing it, it means it's just slightly out of reach of your comfort zone, and the only way to expand your comfort zone is to push its boundaries - feel the fear and do it anyway! (see more on that here)

- imagine if fear wasn't in the picture - think of the most fearless person you know and think about all the things they accomplish by not giving a damn.

- play the worst case scenario game - make a list, mentally or physically if you like with real pen and paper: make your scary task the title, and underneath, write every bad thing that could happen. You'll see that nothing that awful is really going to happen, and if you do manage to get a few things on the paper, come up with a solution for each of them (which doesn't involve the word 'quit') and you'll have created your very own backup plan.

- bold moves don't have to come in giant packages - bold moves can be trying out a new cafe even though it might make worse coffee than your regular; taking a more scenic route home from work even though you might get a little lost; wearing an outfit that you've been stashing away because you might not be able to walk as quickly in you cute chunky boots. Don't let the small things haunt you, and don't put yourself down if they're your biggest achievement of the day.

- stop waiting - think about your scary opportunity as the last slice of pizza at a party: maybe you're worried that if you eat that piece of pizza, you'll be so full that you won't be able to walk home; or if you take it and bite into it, it might be filled with chilli sauce and you're not really the biggest fan of chilli; or if you eat the slice, you might realise that it's been left there because it's actually been made with pepperoni that had mould growing on it. But if you leave the piece of pizza, somebody else is going to take it. And there'll be no possibility of you taking the pizza. The only way you'll find out if you can manage that extra slice, cope with the chilli sauce, or stomach the mouldy pepperoni, is if you clutch it whilst the plate is still on the table and shove it in your gob. Carpe that pizza.

Forget about being perfect and creating the best out of everything - do whatever you feel like doing and see that everything holds beauty and worth, even when it doesn't appear top dollar.

So leave a comment, put it out there on the interwebs for all the world to see: what would you do if you couldn't fail?

photo: Museo Reina Sofia, Madrid

Dear Perfectionists, what would you do if you couldn't fail?

How to reboot your life and have a fresh start, and knowing when to do so: 

Sometimes you just feel stuck in a rut and completely lacking motivation. You've been doing the same things, the same way, in the same environment for too long, and the cogs in your brain start to get a little rusty and sluggish. Sometimes you have to hit the reset button on your life: switch up your routine, experience new things, update your living space and mindset.

Step 1 - Empty your brain
The first thing you have to do is do a brain dump and get your thoughts down on paper, sweep out the cobwebs and find out what's lurking in that noggin of yours. Take the biggest piece of plain paper you can find (or just go ahead and grab a sheet out of the printer) and write down everything that comes to your mind. Everything. Everything that is worrying you, everything that is making you happy at the minute, any questions your brain has; write anything you can think of, even if it sounds silly to you.

Step 2 - Find your reasons and solutions
For all of the positive things you wrote down, write the reason why it makes you happy or brings you joy; for all of the negative things you wrote down, write a solution to the problem. By thinking so logically like this, putting it on paper, and almost separating yourself from it, it makes it so much easier to find a way to fix the things that are bothering you. This sheet is now your Holy Grail. Treasure it, stick it on your fridge, frame it if you really like - and whenever your brain feels messy again, come back to it - see it as a cheat sheet for your brain.

Step 3 - Find motivation
This is the part where you need to look externally. Find podcasts, books, blogs - anything that looks like it will point you in the right direction. Here are some things I recommend you check out:
Book - Your Inner Critic is a Big Jerk by Danielle Krysa
Podcasts - Jess Lively's The Lively Show
                - Tiffany Han's Raise Your Hand and Say Yes

Step 4 - Create new values
So this is something I got from Jess Lively and it serves as a really nice reminder to keep me grounded in my everyday decision making. Basically, you need to create statements that represent your intentions regarding each area of your life (eg work, social, free time, possessions): so this could be something like surround yourself with people that inspire you. Once you're done, stick it on your fridge, or somewhere where you'll see it every day.

Step 5 - Mind over materials
It's time to dust off your Marie Kondo books and get to work. If you've never read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, then now is the time to do exactly that. I know I bashed it a bit in my 2016 book reviews, but if there's any time to get familiar with this book, it's when you're having a life refresh. So pull everything out of the cupboards and get organising. While you're at it, you might want to take up doing capsule wardrobes, something I have been doing for the past year, and has made choosing outfits so much easier and saved so much time (and money).

Step 6 - Make a list of everything you've been meaning to do but have been putting off
Whether it's to do that load of washing or go on a trip to the south of France, big or small, make a list of everything you want to do and haven't had the chance to. Seeing this written down is going to give you a sense of direction and the opportunity of a whole host of new experiences.

You get bonus points if you wake up an hour earlier tomorrow and spend that extra hour working on ticking things off your list - getting the small tasks done and planning for the bigger ones.

Photo: Malasaña, Madrid

Hitting the reset button on life

How clearing out your devices can leave you with a clearer mind: 

When we spend all day every day on our phones, computers, laptops, tablets, kindles, things can start to get a bit out of hand. Emails pile up, downloads sit waiting without purpose, your social medias are full of people you don't recognise, photos are here, there, and everywhere feeling forgotten and unloved. And what better time of the year to have a clear out than in the quiet days after Christmas when everyone is still riding out their food comas. 

So feel free to take these one step at a time, and do one thing each day of January, or go nuts and spend an hour just doing it all in one go. I guarantee you will feel and enormous virtual weight lifted from your shoulders.

So roll your sleeves up, pull up your wheely chair, grab your USB cables; let's do this.

I've also made a PDF for you to clutter up your downloads folder with...but you can delete it as soon as you print it because you won't need that shizz anymore!


Photos
Upload all of your photos from your phone/iPad/tablet/SD cards onto Google, and organise them into folders (of months/years/location - whatever works best for you). I like to keep all of mine on Google Drive (rather than just relying on Google Photos, or putting them in folders on my laptop) so that I can have my photos on any device I like, be it mine, or any computer with a browser.

Documents/Google Drive
Delete old documents (don't get too click-happy or else you'll have serious regret, but get rid of anything you know you will never need again). Organise everything into folders again - try and have a folder for everything. Organise into date, work/personal, whatever you like. When you're done, make sure you empty your recycle bin.

Google Keep
I open my Keep app at least 10 times a day and always have the web version open in a tab on my browser. So you can imagine how many notes I'm making and how out of control it can get. Delete any notes you don't need anymore, or merge the information from several similar notes into one big one. Another thing I do is colour code all of my notes, or add labels to them.

Downloads
The download folder on your laptop can quickly become a graveyard of random photos and PDF menus for restaurants that you thought about going to 6 months ago - delete everything you don't need and move anything important into folders.

Desktop
Your desktop is another of those places where old and unloved documents go to die - get rid of the shortcuts you don't need/use and, hey, why not give yourself a pretty new background whilst you're there - like this one or this one.

Emails
This is a big one, but one you'll definitely feel the benefit of - the aim here is to get to inbox zero, a tough and tedious task, but I believe in you. Unsubscribe from all of those promotional emails and just general crap that you somehow signed up for. Once you've finished, clear out your bin.

Browser
An easy one, open up your bookmark manager and delete any bookmarks you don't need anymore.

Social media
Every now and then it's important to open up every social media (as well as Youtube) and just unfriend, unfollow, and unsubscribe. Get rid of any account that is putting negativity into your feed, or generally getting on your nerves, or that you just don't need in your life anymore. Whilst you're at it, take a break from it all for a while and turn off notifications.

Apps
Uninstall unused/unwanted upps. (Had to keep the alliteration going, sorry)

Phone contacts
Go through your contacts and delete any duplicate/unused/old contacts, (including any numbers from when you were 9 and swapping illegal MP3 downloads via bluetooth).

Don't forget you can click here to get access to the free PDF checklist for your digital declutter!

Good luck and enjoy your clutter-free digital life!

How to have a digital declutter

A comprehensive guide to flying alone: 
Solo travel seems very appealing until you get down to the practicalities and realities - having no one to chat about nothing with on the plane, finding your way around with the capacity of only one brain, feeling stressed and having to also partake in some solo drinking. All of these factors, particularly the last one, are all too real for me, so I've come up with some tricks that you can do to avoid solo travel drama and stress - most of which is found in the airport.
Have all of your documents in check:
Know where you're going, how you'll get there, when you'll get there, what documents you need, what the restrictions are, how much time you'll have to drink a coffee and pee (aka the body's essential processes). The more you know about what you're doing, the more in control you'll feel, and the more relaxed you'll be - whilst a bit of mystery is key to adventure, knowing the answers to all of the questions in an airport is always preferred.
Take entertainment:
Distracting yourself with the right entertainment will distract you from any stress and help pass the time. But obviously if you can't read when you're tired, don't take a book on your 5am flight, take something that you can watch or listen to. My favourites are podcasts - they use minimal battery, you don't need a big screen, and there's something for every mood you're in.
Have provisions:
This seems small but this is a big one for me. On planes, I need to be hydrated and I need to not be hungry, because hunger brings out the stressed demon within me. Also, having something in your stomach and some water on hand is always great for avoiding travel sickness. So the first thing I do when I get through security is get a bottle of water and something plain, which is usually a packet of crisps because I know I'll be able to find it and enjoy it.
Be comfortable:
Being physically comfortable helps when you're not 100% emotionally comfortable. I always wear lots of comfortable thin layers so that I can keep adding layers as I go from the furnace of the airport to the increasingly freezing plane. Another thing I've seen people recommend is stress balm which is basically a balm that smells hella good - for me, this isn't a necessity, but it can be great if you're a nervous flyer.
Consider meditation:
One thing I've started doing is a quick meditation session at the beginning of the flight, or in the waiting area, to get my thoughts in check and find my chill a little bit. I use Headspace, but you could just sit quietly with your thoughts and count your breaths for a little while.
Human contact:
Obviously, watch out for stranger danger and all of that, but if talking to other people is what distracts your mind and keeps you calm so that you don't internalise everything, strike up a conversation with someone - in the queue at the cafe, in the seat next to you on the plane. Asking a question or a small favour is an oldie but a goody technique for starting conversations, and the airport is a place that is full of opportunities for this.
Now go out and enjoy your stress-free adventure!

Flying solo

Easy things that you can do to make learning a language quicker and more effective: 
"A different language is a different vision of life" - Federico Fellini

So, it's coming up to January. The time of year when people decide that they need to kick themselves up the butt in some way, shape, or form. And whilst I'm a firm believer in the fact that if there's a 'resolution' you truly want to fulfil, a date of the year is going to be irrelevant in influencing when you take action, the first of January does serve as a friendly reminder to do a little self-reflection. 
New years resolution rant over, a lot of you may be here because this year you'd like to learn a new language, or you may have been gifted (or let's be real, gifted yourself) a trip abroad for some time during 2017.
Having spent (and possibly wasted) a number of years in school studying languages, lived in a foreign country, and taught my own language, I have a fairly solid idea of what works and what doesn't when it comes to picking up a new language. First of all, I want to say immersion is the absolute key word here. That's why moving abroad will improve your skills immensely, and why higher education classes are conducted entirely in the language in question. Even if you don't have the opportunity to travel, or go to physical classes, there are ways in which you can create your own immersion.
And one final note is one I understand a lot of you will wince, or perhaps roll your eyes at, so I'll get it out of the way: regular practice. A language is like a muscle, you have to constantly exercise it, and it will eventually become like muscle memory and you'll be able to just open your mouth and full sentences will flow out of you. 
Watch Films/TV
This is a fairly easy one to do because subtitles are a magical creation. You can either choose a film with the audio in the language you are learning (with English subtitles) or just select subtitles of your desired language when you're watching your favourite English films and TV shows. Following along and matching up the dialogue with the words is a great way of visually connecting the words. It also works really well to help you remember certain vocab or phrases - I will now forever associate all of my lawyer related vocabulary with How To Get Away With Murder.
Listen to Music
This is a great way of subconsciously learning languages - you can play it in the car, while you're working, just in the background of your day, and you don't even have to pay too much attention. What a magic way to learn. All I will say is be wary of varying accents. For example, if you're trying to learn traditional Spanish, listening to the accent of Mexican singers might throw off your pronunciation.
Apps Apps Apps
Apps are amazing. What is the one thing you always carry with you? Your phone. You can have these language tools with you at all times. One simple thing you can do is just start translating the things that you can see around you with a dictionary app, to give you a visual connection in your brain. This is perfect if you're on your work commute, waiting in a queue in a shop, walking the dog - just look around and mentally label the things around you. One amazing dictionary tool for Spanish is SpanishDictand, although the app doesn't contain it, the SpanishDict website has an amazing blog section full of great posts about grammar and slang. Another app that I recommend to everyone is Duolingo (which supports a whole list of languages) - it gives a great variety of tasks that tests all areas of the language and all areas of your brain, making it work for a whole variety of people. 
Shop in Another Language
A lot of sites will have an option for you to change the language of the web page. This is amazing for giving you a whole plethora of vocab. If there's phrases/words you don't understand, you could just use a dictionary, or you could do it parallel style and open another tab with the site in English. You can learn the vocab whilst you go about shopping for an outfit for next weekend.
Change the Language on Your Phone
Most people know their phones well enough to know what most of the buttons say - so change the language and you'll find that you can actually survive pretty well and you get to pick up on loads of new vocab. (But please do make a note of how to change your language back to English if you're not sure...)
Read
Parallel books are really easy to find on Amazon and you can find them in every style of writing you could possibly want. Magazines are also great if you want smaller chunks of text to deal with if a book seems a little overwhelming. 
Podcasts
If you have iTunes, Spotify, or even Soundcloud, you can find so many podcasts (a lot of them free) for learning new languages. Spotify holds a series called Coffee Break that does 20-minute classes for a bunch of different languages. These are really good for in the car, or again, walking the dog, and they're short enough to not be too intense and not take up too much time of your day.
Finally - think about your learning style. If you're a visual learner like myself, I recommend keeping some sort of notebook or working with things like books, magazines, websites. And if you're a creative person, get creative with your learning. Buy a little notebook, do fancy headings, draw little pictures to go with your vocabulary, display your conjugation endings beautifully - go bullet journal style if that's your thing. Remember that not everybody learns in the same way and it might take a bit of trial and error to find your jam.
photo: Malasaña, Madrid

Ways to learn a new language

How to break out of comfort zones and face the unexpected: 


As an introverted, quiet kid, by the time I had finished high school, I'd become a master at getting myself out of situations that made me uncomfortable - I did the writing in the group task so that I wouldn't have to present it; I over-rehearsed every solo I had in the school band so that there was no chance of me playing a wrong note; I volunteered my answer in class when I was 100% sure that I was correct, to avoid the possibility of the teacher asking me for any answers I didn't know. Writing all of this now makes the high school version of myself sound pretty pitiful, but that was just the way my brain worked.
Once I finished school, I decided to live in another country, with strangers who spoke a language of which I understood around 20%, and do a job I'd never done before. This, boys and girls, is a textbook definition of the phrase zero to one hundred.
But let me speak more generally. Taking risks and facing the unknown (whether that be in your relationships or career) is something that scares most people. One thing I'm learning to do is embrace the fear, and use it as fuel to carry myself through it. Like one long adrenaline rush.
When it comes to dealing with, and surviving, new and unknown situations, three key factors come to mind: time, exploration, and reflection.
Every new situation requires a settling down period. Unfortunately, this is one thing that is out of our control. We simply have to sit back and let everything flow around us and let the waters settle. Adjustment cannot happen straight away, no matter how hard you want for it, it is something that can only happen with time. However, there are two more things you can be doing during this adjustment period.
The first being exploration. On the day that I got my final A level exam results, I listened to a podcast by the amazing Jess Lively about unknown factors in your life. She spoke about something that really put a fire under my butt and gave me the drive to get me where I am now. The phrase she used was data collecting. And I think it resonated with me so much, this idea that you cannot decide if something is wrong or right for you in your life unless you have experienced it yourself. You have to collect data from all of these different experiences in order to have a complete idea of which direction you would like to go in. So for me, exploration is all about gathering information - if you've physically moved, go out and explore your new surroundings, get to know the area; if you're in a new relationship (of any kind) get to know this new person; if you've started a new job, do your research, ask around, ask Google, what are the highs and lows of this job, what do you need to do to succeed. Know your shizz and everything will feel more familiar.
The second thing you can be doing during this settling down period is reflecting. Reflecting on all of the new information that you have collected. In new situations, it's so easy to lose who you are as a person, to forget what is normal for you, to get lost in all of the newness and lose any feeling of being grounded. Ask yourself, or even better ask yourself and write it down, how does factor 'X' make me feel? Does it make me excited for things to come, does it bring me joy, or does it make me feel uncomfortable? Do I feel uncomfortable because it is new, or because it is not for me? How can I move forward from here? You will have all of the answers to these questions, you after all are the person who knows you the best. It's important to be familiar with your new surroundings, but it's more important to be familiar with yourself in the new situation.
A quick note on introversion: if you are an introvert, like myself, new situations can be highly stimulating, which in turn can be incredibly overwhelming. I implore you not to feel guilty for needing time to be in your own company in order to realign and re-energise your mind. You are allowed to have this time, and it is essential to being able to keep moving forward.
And remember, as Sirleaf said, if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.
photo: Montserrat, Barcelona

Feeling the fear and doing it anyway

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